I was so bored at my last job, and there is where/when I met the great blog world (outside of the friends I already knew!) I hated how bored I was, I just prayed and prayed to find a new job that had me busier and more productive than before. Well I got my wish! I work as a help desk tech, in a call-center. I hate it! Well not really hate it, but I hate the fact that I’m bound to my desk all day. I like to be up and about. But I’m definitely more productive and busier than before, but I’m busy doing the same thing over and over again – resetting passwords or transferring calls. Soooo boring! But I’m busy… so like I said, I got my wish. Next go round, I need to be more specific, like: Be busy, but not sooo busy I can’t blog :o) and not busy doing the same monotonous thing all day! My contract is up in a few more months. Good thing is, if I’m still not happy, my company will find me a new job, but if I can handle it another 6 months, I become a permanent employee of T. Rowe Price and can transfer the hell out of my department! We'll see how things work out come the end of August.

He started a new position at his job (congrats to him!!) He just wanted everyone to know that he's not able to post or comment as usual, but as soon as he gets situated, he'll be back!

My part-time job needs to hurry up and find someone permanent to cover this shift. Not only is working every weekend draining, I continually miss Church and one of my new year/life resolutions was to go to Church every Sunday (to the best of my ability.) I miss Church... Someone say a prayer for me please..... I do pray on my own... but I'm not the best at remembering to pray at home on a regular... so help is appreciated!

So… I was going to leave the whole issue alone about my opinion of our people, but then I read Insanely’s response to me and my husband and decided to make one last comment. If you feel the need to respond, do so, but after today, I’m leaving it alone.

“Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one.” - unknown
I wanted to substitute ass holes w/ something else b/c that seems like I'm trying to be mean and I'm not... but that is the quote so....

Opinions never have to be the same, as long as they can be respected. I respect everyone’s opinion and thank everyone for posting their comments… you threw different twists/scenarios to the situation and helped put things into perspective. But when I sit back and think about the people I know (family and friends) I still feel the same. I think that people look for excuses as to not to try. (Of course this is not ALL people.) But I know people from each scenario that was presented… I know many from those scenarios that are doing well for themselves. There’s nothing wrong with living middle-class. If your bills are paid and you have your own and are able to enjoy life, that’s great. To me, that’s making it. But why is it that you take 2 people from the same type of background, one makes it (meaning able to not live in poverty or a life of crime) and the other doesn’t? To me, it’s because the less fortunate didn’t try.

The one scenario is: Take away your loving, supportive mother. Put yourself in someone's shoes that were less fortunate than yourself. Let's say your mother is strung out on drugs or even just an alcoholic. Her concern is not your education, her concern is her next high. She beats the hell out of you, as she calls you all types of bitches and dumb whores. (Hell, your mother doesn't even have to be a crack whore to mistreat you, this is the only way she was shown love, so this is how she displays it.) This is supposed to be your source of love, your source of support, your source of values and morals. You would be forced to work at a fast food joint, just so you don't starve. School became secondary to your survival. But you still made a way to finish high school, miraculously. College is nothing but a far-fetched dream. Your concentration is survival and getting away from that abusive woman.

My response to that is: I had a job while in school, there’s no reason why school needs to become secondary to survival. They can be worked into your lifestyle equally if people learned to put trivial things aside (hair, nails, MORE than enough clothing and shoes.) And to actually prove that it is possible to do and some people just don’t try: I have a friend from that type of scenario (mother verbally and physically abusive.) She also has an older sister that had to endure the same torment. The sister now has her own house (in the city, but in a nice neighborhood – the city isn’t all bad!), car, career, going to college, with three kids (single mother.) My friend had someone to show her that it is possible to make a better life out of that terrible situation she was brought up in, but did she? No. Why?? Because she didn’t try! What’s crazy is that her older sister had her 1st child while in high school. My friend made it out of high school with no kids… you think she would’ve taken advantage of the fact that she only had one person to look out for and attempt to go to school, if even a trade school to get a decent job to make a decent living. What’s my friend doing now, six years after high school? Living from house-to-house (a year at the most at one spot) with a child, she has a car (finally) and after enough people holding her hand to get her there, she’s in a trade school, she had a job, but got fired because she doesn’t know how to keep business separate from her personal life (even after she lost her previous job because of the same BS) So what’s her excuse?? She doesn’t have a legitimate one! You can’t say it’s because of her upbringing, because her sister had the same one but is doing well for herself… she just didn’t try and I don’t feel sorry for her.

When my husband gives his life’s story… you’ll see that the scenarios that some have come up with, really don’t mean shit… it’s possible to live a better life regardless of your upbringing... so I really won't go into each scenario like that.

My whole outtake on Blacks empowering Blacks is this: Giving your time and knowledge is great! I never said it wasn’t. That’s why I volunteer as a big sister, and occasionally at the homeless shelter serving food to those who can’t provided for themselves. I don’t think giving back financially to the community alone will make people do better. I think that a lot of people who have a struggle faced in front of them, use that as an excuse not to do better… to not even try! Those who have all the odds piled against them, look for an easy way out: hustling, welfare, etc. as opposed to even trying to make a better life for themselves. All the Blacks that are considered successful, don’t you think that either they or someone in their family had the same struggles/obstacles that many Blacks still face today, if not worse? They were able to do something better with themselves, so why can’t people of today do the same?

As far as the system being rigged… because of school… I agree that city schools aren’t the greatest. But this kind of boils down to what Rell said. VOTE! And as he posted a while back, once you vote, stay on top of the people you put in office. His post summed up was…. We elect a certain cell phone carrier to have our business, we pay them money for their services, and if we have a problem, then we quickly complain or threaten to cut our service. Why don’t we do the same with politicians? We elect them to office, we pay them with our taxes, yet if they do something or allow for something to fly, we don’t say anything! I don’t live in the city, so I can’t go to the Mayor or the City Councilman to let them know that the school system needs some work… but you better believe that IF I did live there and my child(ren) were in the schools, the entire school administration would know who I am and know that changes needed to be made. And I would see to it that some plan was put into place and executed to better the schools.

Rigged on the drug system tip... If you weren't hustling, then you wouldn't have to worry about it!

I think that Blacks need to learn how to put priorities in perspective. And for those that don’t have someone to in their immediate family to show them, that’s where the volunteering comes into play. It’s crazy that we as a community have one of the lowest incomes but yet are the greatest consumer of trivial shit! Women keep their hair and nails done, but can’t afford to pay their phone bill. We got a closet full of shoes that have probably been worn 5 times most, but can’t pay the light bill. Men stay fresh-to-death in some Polo or LRG or some other name brand clothing, but don’t pay child support – fuck, don’t even spend time with the kids! We can buy big screen TV’s so our children can watch video’s, but don’t have any money saved somewhere for a rainy day.

Our communities are fucked up… but a lot of it has to do with the fact that WE don’t try to make it better for ourselves. Get your home together first and then try to help those that don’t know better… Try to make a better life for yourself and your love ones and then once you’re together… give your time to those who have tried but just can’t find the way! That was my thought from the door…. Using the fact that you were born and raised in a poor community for the reason to commit crimes and not try is an EXCUSE … and a bull shit ass excuse at that! Because there are people that do volunteer their time to help others, but people have to stop being too proud to receive guidance! It’s crazy… we’re too proud to take advice or someone offering to find us a job, but not too proud to accept welfare checks or get locked up for hustling on the corner… Blacks need to get their minds right!

OK.. I’m done… you can agree, disagree, whatever…. I don’t care... Because again, this is my opinion….

I’ve been reading my girl Insanely’s blog. Her topics of posts vary daily. Some days she lets you know what’s going on in her world, sometimes she’s just being silly, but more recently she has been on a pro-black, revolutionary kick. The past 3 post have had that theme. Regardless of topic, I do enjoy reading her blogs (she has a 2nd one where she shows her “Zane” talent.) I encourage all of you to go check her out.

But reading her last three posts, she kind of inspired me to write. Although I completely understand her points, and respect her opinions, I disagree with a lot of what she’s saying.

PLEASE READ HER BLOG TO GET HER COMPLETE OPINION. But to sum it up, she’s basically saying that Blacks need to do more for each other. We need to stop trying to impress and seek approval from whites and worry about empowering each other and do for our own. She stated that a lot of Blacks that do become successful are quick to move out of the hood and forget about where they came from and not give back to the community. In response to one of my comments, she said that people that didn’t grow up in the projects, tend to not feel the need/responsibility to give back to their community. She also stated how she understands the reasoning behind drug dealers and their hustle. I’m not going to touch on every issue she talked about b/c (1) I agree with SOME things she says (2) I don’t really remember EVERYTHING she talked about (3) I don’t want to! But I am going to give my opinion on some of her comments that stuck out to me (and I remembered!)

I don’t think just because I didn’t grow up in the projects, means that I can’t relate to the struggle of a lot of Blacks in the hood. Although I laid my head at night in the county, doesn’t mean I didn’t live my life in the city. My entire family lives in the city. In the summer, I had to stay with them on Carey St. A block up from Baltimore St. (I know those outside of Baltimore, don’t have a clue as to what I’m talking about, but those that do can relate.) My grandmother used to live on Park Heights Ave (one of the worse places to be/live in West Baltimore) I used to go to a basketball camp in the city (from age 8 to 14.) I have family over east, on Milton, off of Chase, and “down the hill.” Basically… my family lives in the hood, surrounded by crime, violence, all that shit! Because my family and I have a good relationship, I’m also exposed to it, so I’m not naïve to what’s out there in our communities.

With that said…. I feel that a lot of Blacks use their living conditions as an excuse to commit crimes. I’m poor, can’t afford college, therefore, I can’t get a good job, so I’ll hustle. That’s so lame! (1) When you’re in high school, there’s nothing wrong with getting a retail or fast food job (just check your attitude) in order to make/save a few bucks. After high school, there are plenty of jobs/careers out there that pay decent salaries that don’t require a college degree… you just have to look! My mother raised me in the county/suburbs (whatever you call them) on a high school diploma, no college degree… And on the flip side of that… there are soooo many scholarships out there that as long as you apply yourself in school, you CAN go to college.

I think Blacks are searching for a handout. I think that we not to stop feeling sorry for ourselves, and stop trying to blame White people for the results of the poor decisions we make. No one forces you to be a drug dealer… so who fault is it when you get locked up and when you get out you can’t find a decent job because you have a criminal record. I don’t feel sorry for you. My ex-boyfriend of 7 years, got locked up. He has a bid of 15 years. I was going to wait, but realized that I shouldn’t put my life on hold for something that HE did. But one of my main reasons for walking away was… when he comes home, what can he do for me? Relationships need to be 50/50 and I’m not a gold-digger, but my man needs to be able to bring to the table financially. When he comes home from jail, he has limited options (1) get a BS job (2) hustle. I’m too old to be dealing w/ drug dealers and people who don’t take their lives seriously. So who’s fault is it that they are his options? You can blame Amerikkka (as Insanely puts it) but honestly… I don’t want someone working for me either with a criminal record because you never know where their head is. But it’s no one’s fault but the hustler’s!

IF I were to ever make it big… you damn right I would move away from struggling PEOPLE.. black, white, purple, whatever. Why? Cause people are jealous… they see someone doing well, and want to pull them back down to their level. I don’t want someone hating on me, and destroying my shit because they don’t have. Also, she said that she would give back to her community if she made. Me? Hell no! Why? Because I feel that people don’t try to do shit for themselves. I don’t mind volunteering and mentoring people to do the right decisions, but I worked hard to get where I am, so I’m not going to give my hard earned money back to people who won’t appreciate it. To people who think I OWE them something. To people who haven’t even tried to do for self.

Am I wrong for that? I don’t think so. Does that make me less “Black” and “real” or “true to my people”? I doubt it. Go read her blog as well, and let me know how you feel.

DISCLAIMER: Hey Insanely! This is by no way a shot to you… Your blog just inspired me to write my opinion! And that’s all we’re both expressing is our opinions!!

EDIT: Check out my husband’s blog as well! He gave his opinion too...

I need a vacation. I need to get away. I need a break from work… a break from school. I need to hit the lottery. I’m tired. I think I have too much on my plate. I work two jobs, I’m in school, I make a conscious effort to go to the gym at least three times a week, and I volunteer to be a big sister.

My part-time job is cool. I get paid big bucks to monitor systems and make sure nothing turns red. If it turns red, I’m supposed to call someone. When I have homework to do, they WANT me to do it, so I’m not bored and want to quit. I’m a floater, so that means I work at least 16 hours a month… sometimes more. Well one of the permanent people quit. They offered me the position, but I turned it down. So until they find someone to replace the old guy, I’m working every weekend! This is my 4th weekend straight that I had to work and it’s really starting to kick my butt! Seven days straight… all morning shifts can be hard on a person. Sometimes I just want to sleep in! I’m not going to quit the part-time job… that’s good and easy money. Shit! It’s paying for my trips to Niagara Falls and Vegas… but those trips aren’t until August and December. I need a break NOW!!!

Volunteering as a big sister is cool. I have to see her at least twice a month. But it’s kind of hard because I’m supposed to be a mentor to her, but she doesn’t really open up to me. I’m not one to pry for information. I try to make it so that a person feels comfortable around me and they just open up, but she just doesn’t want to seem to come out of her shell. Although volunteering doesn’t take much out of me, the fact that I’m working seven days a week is. I never feel like doing anything. I just want to lay around the house and relax! And that’s NOT me… As you can tell from previous posts, I like to be out and about on the weekends having a ball with GTL and/or my girls.

For instance… I wanted to go out last night to support Kween’s “Wet” function. One because I just wanted to, and two because she always supports GTL and my events. GTL was sick, but I still would’ve went out with my girls. But I was just tired!! And I’d rather had stay in the house curled up watching the NCAA tournament. That’s crazy!! I don’t get interested in the tournament until around the Sweet 16!!! So Kween… I hope you had fun! Sorry we couldn’t make it.

I usually get a nap in after I get off of my part-time job, but lately that isn’t cutting it. I have to work every weekend until Easter weekend, or until they get someone in here and trained. But I’m going to put some money aside (you too GTL) because as soon as they tell me they found a replacement… I’m going away!! I deserve and NEED it!!

Honey-Libra was closest to the response that was given to me in school. We all thought about it and we all pretty much said, “my best friend b/c you never chose a dude over your girls b/c men will come and go, but friends are forever.” What a load of crap! I changed best friends (females) in like 3 year intervals! Now that I’m older, hopefully that will change.

But I digress… after we gave our answers, we asked the teacher who would she chose. She replied, well that decision wouldn’t be hard for me because my boyfriend is my best friend, so either way I don’t lose anyone. That stuck with me in all my relationships to come (all 2.. LOL) You know the saying, friends make the best lovers? I disagree. I think that you need to make your lover your best friend. And that’s what I attempt to do. GTL and I share a wonderful relationship, but that’s because when we first got serious, I informed him that I want he and I to be best friends. You know how when something happens, and the 1st person you call would be one of your homegirls or homeboys… not with me… I call GTL b/c he's my best friend.

Now I’m not saying that your significant other should be your only friend, but I feel that if the two of you are in a committed relationship that you want to become more than boyfriend/girlfriend status, it won’t excel if you two aren’t the best of friends. More than just dating and kissing and sexing each other up! You need to be able to talk to them about any and everything… share secrets and all of that good stuff! I have great friends; don’t get me wrong, it’s just that if I plan to spend the rest of my life with someone, I want them to be my best friend…. I need to be able to hold intelligent and significant conversations with them as well spend quality time with them (doing VARIOUS activities with them.)

Just something to think about….

For my 9th thru 11th grade years, I attended St. Frances Academy (catholic school.) We had a course called Sisters for all girls (and guys had a course called Boyz to Men ~ or something like that) Anyways... this class was to help shape the person we were to become. I found the class to be a waste of 45 min, especially since we had to take it every year, but it was an easy A! The only thing that I remember from that class from all 3 years is watching the movie Beloved and tripping off of when the girl said to Danny Glover, "I want you to climb on top of me and scream my name" I thought that shit was the funniest!

But more seriously, I remember my teacher posed this scenerio to us: You, your boyfriend, and your best friend were at the top of a cliff. Your boyfriend and best friend both fall over, but you were able to grab the both of them. They both started to slip from your grasp making it impossible for you to save both of them. You had to chose which one you would save. Which one would it be?

I learned a lot from that question & discussion session. I'm just curious as to how you all would answer. So place your response in the comment section and then I'll give you the lesson I learned from this scenerio...

And for the smartalicks out there: don't say you wouldn't be on a cliff, and fellas change boyfriend to girlfriend!

Edit:
Assume that you and your girlfriend/boyfriend share a serious relationship. At the time this question was posed to me, I was in high school, but I think it's safe to assume that all my readers are adults here, so if you like, you can change the term boyfriend/girlfriend to husband/wife/fiance.

Who would you choose?

…and it seems to always be the one where T=Anyone who’s reading this… so here ya’ go!

The ABC's Of Me

Accent: None.. I don’t pronounce dog like doug as most Baltimoreans do!
Bra size: 36D
Chore I hate: Laundry
Dad's name: Tyrone
Essential make-up: Chap stick – I’m all natural!
Favorite perfume: Body Spray – Midnight Something or ‘nother from Bath & Body Works
Gold or Silver: Gold --> White Gold
Hometown: Baltimore
Insomnia: no…I have NO problems falling asleep at night
Job Title: Help Desk Specialist
Kids: Hell No.. I don’t have a ring on my finger yet…
Living Arrangement: a 2 br townhouse AND 1 bedroom apt :o)
Mom's Birthplace: Baltimore
Number of Sexual Partners: None-ya!
Overnight Hospital Stays: never (knock on wood) – well let me re-phrase that.. I never had to stay overnight for myself…
Phobia: Heights.. which is really weird b/c I love roller coasters.. it’s more like heights where I’m not strapped into something
Quote: ???
Religion: Catholic (for now)
Siblings: ½ sister that I don’t really see/speak to.. also have a “Little Sister” that I volunteer to be… but my usual answer to this question is NO
Tagging: GTL
Unnatural hair colors I've worn: Multiple shades of red (and I cried) and Blonde streaks
Vegetable I refuse to eat: peas
Worst habit: procrastination
X-rays: Only at the dentist
Yummy foods: Hot Wings w/ ranch dressing
Zodiac Sign - Lovely Libra!!

OK.. for laughs & so you aren't confused when reading my comments.. when I copied this off of Kween's blog, I didn't grab the Z... so this is what I originally put for Z:

There's no Z, so I'll make one up! Z oo's I've visited: The Baltimore Zoo aka The Maryland Zoo and The National Zoo in DC

My husband and I have been saying for the longest that we were going to boycott all of the fast food restaurants on Liberty Road, but we never actually did… until today! Today was the last straw!

I had to work at my part-time job this weekend. At this job, there’s only one person there on the shift, so we must bring our lunches with us. Today I had to work the 4PM-12AM, so I needed to stop and get something for me to eat because I can’t leave since I’m the only person there. Yesterday, I got a salad from McDonalds (that experience is a story in its own, so I won’t get into that.) I didn’t want a salad again, so I decided to go to Popeyes. Why?? I knew that they are usually slow. I knew that their customer service isn’t the best, yet I still went. The drive-thru line was long, so since it looked like there was only one other person inside, I went in against my better judgment. I ordered a 3-piece WHITE meal and James got a 99 cents chicken sandwich to hold him over until he cooked dinner later. We waited for about 25 minutes for them to make a sandwich that consisted of (1) a chicken tender (2) on a bun (3) with lettuce (4) and hot sauce. Twenty minutes for that?!?!?!? I was so glad that I didn’t plan on eating my food right away because it would’ve been cold! They gave us a small order of fries to go along with the sandwich in order to try and compensate for the wait… but I was already late for work. I got in the car, planning to tear up a wing before I went to work, and instead of 2 wings, I have a breast, a wing, and a leg. Heated is not the word! I waited over 20 min in that store for them to fuck my order up?!? So I went back in there (not even 2 min after I left) and told them that they messed up my order. I told them that I asked for white meat, which meant that I should not have a leg, but 2 wings along with my breast. They wanted to see a receipt. WTF?!?! Do you not remember seeing my face for the last 20 min?? The one guy was like, you probably didn’t get charged for the white meat, so that’s why you don’t have it. The “manager” (and I use that term loosely) in the back was like, “no she didn’t get charged for it.” I rudely said, “Yes I did! And it doesn’t matter if I did or didn’t, if I asked for it, and wait 20 min for it, I should get what I asked for! I got the breast, that’s not the problem… I don’t want this leg!” So they gave me a breast. That’s still not what I asked for, but I was already late for work, so I was like fuck it and took it.

Both McDonalds that are close to my house have shitty service. No matter what I order, something off the $1 menu, a value meal, a salad, I have to wait a ridiculous amount of time! Same thing with the Wendy’s. And in ALL of these restaurants, the customer service is the worse. It’s not MY fault you chose to work in a fast-food restaurant. If you don’t like your job, find a new one! Most of these places are run by teenagers. I don’t know if kids think that they can’t get a job outside of fast-food or what, but sweethearts, you can! I used to work in telemarketing, I worked at a dollar store, I worked at Pizza Hut (that’s NOT fast food.) I’ve NEVER worked in a fast food establishment… and these kids don’t have to either!

I swear! If I were to ever own a franchise in fast food, never would I hire (1) teenagers (2) young black adults (under the age of 35.) That may sound mean/prejudice as shit, but never have I been to a fast food place where kids ran it or young black adults ran it and the service was superb… NEVER! I used to be a shift manager at Pizza Hut. I didn’t play that shit. If you worked on my shift, you were going to work! You were going to follow the rules and if you dealt with the public, you would be nice and act like you like your damn job! Kids nowadays just don’t care about shit. And young black adults feel as though they deserve better than that job, therefore they give no effort and their customer service is shitty. No smiles. No hello, welcome to… No thank you, have a nice day. None of that shit! I’m not saying that I expect to be treated as royalty when I go to a fast food place, but shit! Act as if you want my business! Don’t act like I’m bothering you by coming in there. I know the mentality of these people, they’re like, “I don’t care if you come back or not, I’m still getting paid.” But let me make this clear, if enough people get fed up with the shitty ass service that they give, and no one comes to their store, they will shut down and then they will no longer get a check! I truly am done with the fast food restaurants on Liberty Road. I’d rather take that extra 15 min or so to drive to Reisterstown Rd where I know (1) my order will be correct (2) my food will be hot (3) the customer service will be decent!

Here you go Rell....

So.. I've started my new job on Tuesday. So far everything seems cool. Right now I'm just training (which at times can be boring) but everyone in my department seems nice. With the training, I haven't really been at my desk like that, so I haven't been able to visit many blogs... hopefully that can all change in a few weeks. I guess the best part about my job is that my husband is 5 min away and we can do lunch when we want :o)

I'm off today (that was good and bad to me) but what can I do? So... I'll still be kinda M.I.A. for a while... but my husband and Kween will keep me informed about what's going in the blogworld!

Til next time......