So… I was going to leave the whole issue alone about my opinion of our people, but then I read Insanely’s response to me and my husband and decided to make one last comment. If you feel the need to respond, do so, but after today, I’m leaving it alone.

“Opinions are like ass holes, everyone has one.” - unknown
I wanted to substitute ass holes w/ something else b/c that seems like I'm trying to be mean and I'm not... but that is the quote so....

Opinions never have to be the same, as long as they can be respected. I respect everyone’s opinion and thank everyone for posting their comments… you threw different twists/scenarios to the situation and helped put things into perspective. But when I sit back and think about the people I know (family and friends) I still feel the same. I think that people look for excuses as to not to try. (Of course this is not ALL people.) But I know people from each scenario that was presented… I know many from those scenarios that are doing well for themselves. There’s nothing wrong with living middle-class. If your bills are paid and you have your own and are able to enjoy life, that’s great. To me, that’s making it. But why is it that you take 2 people from the same type of background, one makes it (meaning able to not live in poverty or a life of crime) and the other doesn’t? To me, it’s because the less fortunate didn’t try.

The one scenario is: Take away your loving, supportive mother. Put yourself in someone's shoes that were less fortunate than yourself. Let's say your mother is strung out on drugs or even just an alcoholic. Her concern is not your education, her concern is her next high. She beats the hell out of you, as she calls you all types of bitches and dumb whores. (Hell, your mother doesn't even have to be a crack whore to mistreat you, this is the only way she was shown love, so this is how she displays it.) This is supposed to be your source of love, your source of support, your source of values and morals. You would be forced to work at a fast food joint, just so you don't starve. School became secondary to your survival. But you still made a way to finish high school, miraculously. College is nothing but a far-fetched dream. Your concentration is survival and getting away from that abusive woman.

My response to that is: I had a job while in school, there’s no reason why school needs to become secondary to survival. They can be worked into your lifestyle equally if people learned to put trivial things aside (hair, nails, MORE than enough clothing and shoes.) And to actually prove that it is possible to do and some people just don’t try: I have a friend from that type of scenario (mother verbally and physically abusive.) She also has an older sister that had to endure the same torment. The sister now has her own house (in the city, but in a nice neighborhood – the city isn’t all bad!), car, career, going to college, with three kids (single mother.) My friend had someone to show her that it is possible to make a better life out of that terrible situation she was brought up in, but did she? No. Why?? Because she didn’t try! What’s crazy is that her older sister had her 1st child while in high school. My friend made it out of high school with no kids… you think she would’ve taken advantage of the fact that she only had one person to look out for and attempt to go to school, if even a trade school to get a decent job to make a decent living. What’s my friend doing now, six years after high school? Living from house-to-house (a year at the most at one spot) with a child, she has a car (finally) and after enough people holding her hand to get her there, she’s in a trade school, she had a job, but got fired because she doesn’t know how to keep business separate from her personal life (even after she lost her previous job because of the same BS) So what’s her excuse?? She doesn’t have a legitimate one! You can’t say it’s because of her upbringing, because her sister had the same one but is doing well for herself… she just didn’t try and I don’t feel sorry for her.

When my husband gives his life’s story… you’ll see that the scenarios that some have come up with, really don’t mean shit… it’s possible to live a better life regardless of your upbringing... so I really won't go into each scenario like that.

My whole outtake on Blacks empowering Blacks is this: Giving your time and knowledge is great! I never said it wasn’t. That’s why I volunteer as a big sister, and occasionally at the homeless shelter serving food to those who can’t provided for themselves. I don’t think giving back financially to the community alone will make people do better. I think that a lot of people who have a struggle faced in front of them, use that as an excuse not to do better… to not even try! Those who have all the odds piled against them, look for an easy way out: hustling, welfare, etc. as opposed to even trying to make a better life for themselves. All the Blacks that are considered successful, don’t you think that either they or someone in their family had the same struggles/obstacles that many Blacks still face today, if not worse? They were able to do something better with themselves, so why can’t people of today do the same?

As far as the system being rigged… because of school… I agree that city schools aren’t the greatest. But this kind of boils down to what Rell said. VOTE! And as he posted a while back, once you vote, stay on top of the people you put in office. His post summed up was…. We elect a certain cell phone carrier to have our business, we pay them money for their services, and if we have a problem, then we quickly complain or threaten to cut our service. Why don’t we do the same with politicians? We elect them to office, we pay them with our taxes, yet if they do something or allow for something to fly, we don’t say anything! I don’t live in the city, so I can’t go to the Mayor or the City Councilman to let them know that the school system needs some work… but you better believe that IF I did live there and my child(ren) were in the schools, the entire school administration would know who I am and know that changes needed to be made. And I would see to it that some plan was put into place and executed to better the schools.

Rigged on the drug system tip... If you weren't hustling, then you wouldn't have to worry about it!

I think that Blacks need to learn how to put priorities in perspective. And for those that don’t have someone to in their immediate family to show them, that’s where the volunteering comes into play. It’s crazy that we as a community have one of the lowest incomes but yet are the greatest consumer of trivial shit! Women keep their hair and nails done, but can’t afford to pay their phone bill. We got a closet full of shoes that have probably been worn 5 times most, but can’t pay the light bill. Men stay fresh-to-death in some Polo or LRG or some other name brand clothing, but don’t pay child support – fuck, don’t even spend time with the kids! We can buy big screen TV’s so our children can watch video’s, but don’t have any money saved somewhere for a rainy day.

Our communities are fucked up… but a lot of it has to do with the fact that WE don’t try to make it better for ourselves. Get your home together first and then try to help those that don’t know better… Try to make a better life for yourself and your love ones and then once you’re together… give your time to those who have tried but just can’t find the way! That was my thought from the door…. Using the fact that you were born and raised in a poor community for the reason to commit crimes and not try is an EXCUSE … and a bull shit ass excuse at that! Because there are people that do volunteer their time to help others, but people have to stop being too proud to receive guidance! It’s crazy… we’re too proud to take advice or someone offering to find us a job, but not too proud to accept welfare checks or get locked up for hustling on the corner… Blacks need to get their minds right!

OK.. I’m done… you can agree, disagree, whatever…. I don’t care... Because again, this is my opinion….